Parents talk to your child

Are you a parent today? how old your childrens are? are they stubborn which leads you too much stressed?

Because I am in the sea of hate right now my mama is punishing me for 1 week I will be working on our pharmacy and I had given schedules like our maids and I feel like why on earth am I doing this? I spent my life working here on our pharmacy and I was given schedules and oh its says no special treatments.

I lack in communication on my parents I cant even open my problem to them you know why? because they’re so judgemental after I open a problem to them they torture me they hit me like manny pacquiao woaaaah its way to different than a parent who communicate first know what the reason and why did you come up to this? I mean I’ve been to Depression and Anxiety for 2 years after that scenario I trap myself inside my room for 3 days I didn’t eat for 3 days I just want to forget that memory where I was in pain because all my life I was in pain simple slap of a hand into my face traumatized me which makes my depression even worser.

That’s why parents out there make sure to talk to your child, from the day they we’re born till they grow up because you create a bond that other children dont have. Parents also try to listen to your child comfort them and please dont be judgemental because I regret everything why I am like this to my parents I cannot say truth to them, I cant even hug or kiss them I know they loved me but its different when you enjoy your days as a child with your parents because ever since my brother was born I separated myself because you know they love the youngest most and oh they excell most which makes me pressured most because I dont compete myself much Im contented on what I had right now! THE GAP IS WIDER BETWEEN ME AND MY PARENTS i am not stubborn as I describe myself here but in different way there’s part in my life that I lack in guidance more on discipline and more scolding.

I hope childrens out there who experience what I’d experience before please learn from my experience sometimes we want things be done for our own good but think of those person who might be involve be senstive on what if you done a mistake today that you regret it for all the days in your life always obey what your parents say because they know what’s good for you, they know what’s best for you make time to communicate because living in the world with anxiety makes you think of bad things in life and if no one was there for you make time to know God I know we live in a world with many religion try to adopt one because I believe we only worship in one God they maybe different names but in faith it will move us to where we belong.


What triggers you to have an ANXIETY?

My anxiety started when I was young most children dont know it but for me I am different why? because I grew up in pain and feeling unloved when you wanted to do good at school but it needs more effort to reach that goal. I love school when I was young but ever since that first time my papa punished me with a leather belt my life had changed I was traumatized over and over again whenever I see people holding belts it reminds me of my struggles. I was an innocent child before who loves to makes friends and basically play on mud and bath with the rain while singing my favorite song before Somewhere over the rainbow. During my adolescent years things change from the transition of being a child to a teenager and as a woman who had periods every month anxiety becomes more burden because also with the hormones that’s why if you are a guy reading this right now I’m encouraging you to have more patience on yourself because things will fall into place after a woman ends her period 😂 

My experience was as a woman in this world the highest peak of my anxiety are usually my fertile period. I become a person that I never expected to be I scold my boyfriend many times, texted him that I wanted a breakup and telling him that Im tired of working this relationship 😜 After my period I became nice and sweet to him HAHAHA that’s why girls are moody I BLAME THE HORMONES FOR THAT THEY WERE RESPONSIBLE OF MY PMS 😤

If you’re a student #1 stressor of students are always DEADLINE OR QUIZZES because you need to put much effort on it for you to work things out! sometimes you lack in sleep and ENERGY is needed so im advicing you to nap just for an hour calm yourself first you can do this you can be focus when your mind is at peace so stay calm and get some sleep and when you wake up your body is ready to work again! 😉 BEST IF WORK WITH COFFEE I SAY DECAF THE LESSER THE CAFFEINE THE BETTER THE MIND PROGRESS SO YOU CAN SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT ☕️

Others had an anxiety when they became alone and nobody to talk to I USUALLY EXPERIENCED THIS WHEN IM ALONE AT THE DORM. I’M ENCOURAGING YOU TO GO OUT ENJOY YOURSELF I USUALLY WENT TO MALLS TO WINDOW SHOP I LOVE SEEING NEW STUFFS THAT ARE NEW AND ALSO I LOVE MAKE-UP SO I ENJOY SPENDING MY TIME AT THE MALL HUNTING FOR SALE MAKE UP PRODUCTS AND IT REALLY MY STRESSED RELIEVER ….

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Why Me, God? #Depression

I had done many mistakes in my life and I regret those wrong decisions I made. We are only human in this world who learn things from our experience maybe because at the end of this pain and tears there’s a new dawn of hope and happiness.

For the past 2 years in my life I’ve been a bad person, I admit it but I learn from that mistakes and having faith in God gives me hope everyday I dont mind the critisms and heavy stones been thrown at me but in God I find happiness again.

It was April 5, 2016 that I encouter God’s presence on our way to Ozamis City I was depressed at that time because I failed for the 1st time in Maternal & Child Nursing At Risk it was the most devastating scenario of my life that I never wanted to go back so I went to Medina College knocking its doors to open but it seems like their last batch of nursing had graduated and I was so hopeless at that time I cant even imagine myself going to school there  I cried and cried at that day I cannot forgive myself I lost in hope I even think of having suicide by jumping the barge but God doesn’t want me to do that because He has plans on me so I went back to Cagayan de Oro to face my fear and enrolled for Summer 2016.

Still trials never stop I failed on minor subject which my grade was actually 75.8% I questioned that Professor why I failed even if that grade is a passing grade I question again myself whyyyy? I need to struggle much??? I want to end this pain I cant take it anymore 😭

After that summer class I began to realized that I need to be more focus on my studies I need to accept that failure is part of life and that makes you a better person but I had heavy emotions I am sensitive I always cry and crying makes me comfortable to release those emotions.

Then GOD’s plan has started I excell on my 1st Semester I was even a top 1 at our class I always pray and pray and study hard. If failure is part of my life AND GOD NEVER FAILED TO ANSWER MY NEEDS EVERYDAY I know he’s always there watching, guiding and protecting me till now I may sometimes lose in hope but I know someday this failure talking to you will rise up as God bestowed his blessings on me.

I hope you will too, God Bless You Dear Readers 😇

After this pain and bucket of tears I will be successful it may take so long but I know God has plans for me.

Hello, Summer Class! 💃🏻

Here’s a consequence when you are an irregular student you know why? because you are far behind from the reality. I accepted myself that I am irregular since I was 1st year I lack on interest on my studies which I take things for granted and all the money my parents spend was wasted I am an example of a prodigal son in the bible because I grow up without enjoying my childhood, I grow up being a slave feeling which is bad I remember one summer of my childhood which my parents abandoned me at my aunt’s house cause they’re going to Manila we are unlucky at that time so my parents take their risk going there without realizing that they are victim of illegal recuiter, Imagine the money, time and effort they spend and I was left all alone at my aunt’s house I admit that I am a moody person and my parents always want me to cry first before giving what I want anyways that was the most painful summer in my life that I dont want to remember.

For my Nursing Study, I woke up from reality of the things I’ve done I tried over and over again and today I am mature enough I know I can do this on my own and with the help of God and my parents soon next summer HELLO MANILA! 1 Month Vacay and Affiliation in Manila in God’s Time and My work of hands ❤️

Nursing was not my choice

They say NURSING IS AN ART but for me I’ve been struggling too much on this course.

I was a graduating student when my parents want me to take up nursing I dont like this course because its so stressful for my health and so they’re forcing me to get in to this course or I will not go to college (this  was the hardest decision of my life swear! between future and my education. THE LONGEST 1 MIN. OF MY LIFE 😂😂😂)

And so I graduated highschool March 21, 2012 I was happy on that day I felt freedom but then again after that I was accompanied by my uncle to take entrance exam at Capitol University (CU) since entrance exam takes 5mins, I took the scholarship exam for about 20mins then voila! I PASSED THE FULL SCHOLARSHIP 🎉 that time I began to trust myself and gained confidence and so after that I decided to stay in the city to adopt the culture here because its different when you’re in rural. I spend my days at Starbucks Limketkai at that time whenever I’m sad nor happy I ordered Dark Mocha Venti sized more whip cream to fill up my mode.

It was the 1st day of school were I met my friends they were so kind and friendly to me, I was also happy to met some of my scholar friends which is more intelligent than me I find it difficult understanding the MEDICAL TERMS why? because its not the usual words we described it, its a key for the medical student to understand certain condition and diseases. So I always bring my pocket sized medical dictionary always at school.

1st Year Major 2012 (Theoretical Foundation of Nursing and Fundamentals of Nursing)

I find this major subject difficult for me to understand specially when you’re CI is always having quiz every discussion at that time what I feel is that I study and then forgot things up! Swear to God If it wasn’t for that Musical Show at the finals maybe I failed to this subject because I tend to forgot the theories because some of them are similar but their works are different 2 theories per meeting 😬😰😔

2nd Semester Fundamentals of Nursing at first I was so interested because I love history especially Nursing, how nurses makes a great impact on world war 2 and how florence nightingale decreases the mortality rate during crimean war and that’s it but due to weather of the city that I wasn’t used to I tend to be more absent I usually spend my days at my room nebulizing and when I’m hungry I went out and take out some food and go back to my dorm and the saddest thing happen to me is that I used to enjoy my RLE’s but my major needs to double time but I failed and that was were my anxiety started when you’re away to the used batch and its difficult to adjust I didn’t told my mama about it because I hate to be scold all I need is a supportive system that was the start of my tragedy.

1st year and 2nd Year Irregular Level

(Health Assessment, Maternal and More RLE)This was the time that I wanted to SHIFT TO A DIFFIRENT COURSE but still my parents wouldn’t allow me to shift because we start over again and blaaaah blah blaaah they were always thinking of theirselves not thinking how I’m struggling to this course yes they were supportive but they’re different from my classmate’s parents who is more supportive their boost their child to study well and do good in class, they monitor their grades and my grades was totally a mess I swear it was the most nasty grades I ever done in my transcript.

When I passed Health Assessment, I was so excited because were included in the capping which the regulars are fighting not to include us because we need to passed the majors they had and oh! were irregulars they call us stupid which is kinda annoying and I dont care as long as I’m continuing my studies thats it! 👊🏻👌🏻👍🏻

After my capping the major I enrolled that semester was Maternal and Child (Normal) which has more discussion and the CI was okay but sometimes not and my classmate was cheating because her quizzes is on that book pdf chapter’s but I didn’t try to cheat I’m used to study her slide but still they got the highest scores and mine was on the ground 😔 why does they do this technique to passed the subject? whyyy?? 

I passed the subject at my own effort and then that time due to my health condition I STOP SCHOOLING 😭😭😭

It was then 2014 Summer I decided to go back to school and finished what I’ve been through and passed all the subjects I enrolled which makes my heart happy and survived the summer heat at that time by taking a bath 3x a day 

School year 2015-2016

I watch my batch graduate and I am still at Maternal & Child (At Risk) and I failed the worst scenario of my life that until now its hunting me, it was finals and I studied really hard I drank 7 cups of grande brewed coffee for that week imagine the money I spend and it went all to nothing? I been through depression at a very severe stage it was summer 2016 at that time that I began to school hunt knocking for their doors to admit me at their class but its not easy, the money I spend the hours I traveled and the time I wasted I was in severe depression at that time if only I could tell myself that STOP WORRYING TO MUCH THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE AND THINK ABOUT HOW DISAPPOINTED YOUR PARENTS ARE, GET UP AND FIGHT! It was GOD that helped me through this journey when I started to devote to Divine Mercy my life has changed sometimes I always question his works but his mercy I know he has big plans on me as long as I TRUST IN HIM 🙏🏻

So I decided to get back to my studies and I was inspired more so I take up NCM 30 again at that time and I was on TOP 1 at class why because I worked too hard for this, after class I study I dont rely on cheating but I read the book WHEN ITS GOD’s PLAN ITS REALLY YOURS ❤️

After that my life was changed I pray more and harder each day whenever I feel down and nobody was there to listen me I talk to God asking for presence of mind and peace at heart because its easy to be mean eh! its easy to hurt somebody’s feelings but its hard to forgive but I forgive others because Im only human in this world not perfect

I passed NCM 40 who wouldn’t thought that after all the critisims and more backstabbing this girl infront of you is still standing still for God changed my life even though I’m 2 years late of my beloved batch Im still hoping for one day that I could get that diploma that says  BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN NURSING soon in 2019 in all God’s plan 😊🙏🏻

and thats how my life in nursing 🙂

What is an Anxiety Disorder?

Anxiety comes in many different forms—such as panic attacks, phobia, and social anxiety

Anxiety disorders are different, They can cause such distress that it interferes with your ability to lead a normal life. 

This type of disorder is a serious mental illness. For people who have one, worry and fear are constant and overwhelming, and can be disabling. But with treatment, many people can manage those feelings and get back to a fulfilling life.

But for me I developed a Generalized Anxiety Attack because I tend to worry too much about unrealistic thoughts the good and the bad ones which leads me to severe depression for 2 years.

The common signs and symptoms are:

Feelings of panic, fear, and uneasiness ( too much adrenaline)

Problems sleeping (thinking too much)

Cold or sweaty hands or feet (decrease cardiac output due to palpitations)

Shortness of breath (decrease cardiac output which causes the heart to pump more blood to be circulated to the brain esp. medulla oblongata)

Heart palpitations (increasing the need of blood supply to the body)

Not being able to be still and calm (panic)

Dry mouth (decrease blood supply to the brain which will not activate the thirst mechanism)

Numbness or tingling in the hands or feet (because of the palpitations)

Nausea (for sever anxiety attack)

Muscle tension (severe anxiety attack)

Dizziness (decrease blood supply to the brain)

These are the common signs and symptoms I hope you know how our body reacts esp. the systems that are affected which are CNS and Cardiovascular System. If you suspected to have an anxiety now go to the nearest doctor and had a mental check-up before it destroys you fully. I am here always for you to have a communicating friend if you need advices just contact me through my email: ninajeannepauline@icloud.com 

Thank You for reading 😊

Hello, Are You Okay?

Dearest Reader, 

Hello I’m a newbie here. I created this site because I want to feel to others that they’re not alone I am with you throughout your anxiety journey and hopefully I could help you the best I could. I also had an anxiety disorder it started when I was a child because of my parents till now I’m having anxiety because of disappointments again to my parents I feel like a black ship on our family and I feel bad about it! I’m not close to my parents there we’re times that I wanted to cuddle them and say sweet words but they aren’t like the parents I always saw on tv whom they kiss and hug their children and how important they are to them but for me is not easy and being mean is the only way to get their attention for me. Ever since my baby brother was born my life becomes more difficult during my kindergarten years I was an honor student because my mama used to teach and help my assignments but since we had a newbaby on our family I feel like there’s a gap between us, that was the time that I didn’t even work hard on my studies I became a bad person till I got to college same thoughts nothing change the gap is getting wider and the communication between parents and child are neutral no sweet words or even supporting words more on scolding and all the compliments are always on my brother He’s the one who’s more Intelligent than me, more famous than me, more attractive than me and most of all my parents favorite than me. I live in a lie whenever I had assignments at school on describing myself towards my family relationship because I feel like I’m not their child their focus is always my brother I admit that I was jealous of him. Till now its difficult for me to achieve those goals I want, I even wanted to excell on my studies but again nothing beats my brother who’s an achiever He is always my parents favorite and I am at my 5th year in College struggling the course I never wanted to. I graduated highschool year 2012 and the only change I ever got is my weight. I changed so bad because of taking longterm steroids for my asthma for the past years in my life I ‘ve been on and off to hospital still my parents are disappointed at me but here I am still struggling waiting for a new day to rise that maybe one day I could change the way how my parents look at me. 

That’s my life story on How my anxiety develops

Lesson: Parents, Always had a communication to your child don’t be judgemental comfort them as much as you can. Children, Always obey your parents always tell them how much you love them before its too late 😊

My Capping Day