D-4 ACCEPTANCE

I know its hard for me each day to woke up and sleep at night because my body’s clock has been disturb and I know throughout this whole process I will able to recover hopefully soon, to sleep 8 hours a day and to study early morning. I will be worry free …. I will pray often for God’s guidance because I know through him nothing is impossible as long as we believed. And I also wanna thank my parents for giving me a chance to change my life and also for their support. Someday at God’s perfect time I will pay back the hardworks and patience they gave to me and as I get older I will never forget those times I was in the midst of confusion.

But for now I let him gooo because I want to be healed from pains…

D-3 Reconnecting

My sleeping habits had been destroyed for the past 5 years now it seems odd that you know that kind of feeling that you wanted to throw those kinds of memories ‘coz you’re sick of it! I admit I’m tired forgiving people and giving them chances but wth they never changed…

So last time I tried to dial his number and the phone rings but no answer thank God! hahaha or else my recovering period will be over.

So this morning I woke up and prayed to God to give me strength each day that I will be okay for this past days. I will let my heart rest for a long period and will open to the right person who deserve to be loved because this days some are the boys who are loyal and I know that God has planned the right person for me at the right time so as of now my goal is to finish college and get that Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree! 

Pauline xx

D-2 Fixing Myself

Dearest readers,

How are you today? I’m bit okay right now listening to a stop while memories flashbacks I know moving on is not easy especially long term relationship but choice is a choice I must stick to that decision because if I continue that long way journey I will get hurt must worser than ever I know I can do this because girls are also tough we stick on our decisions.

Right now my inspiration is my mom, She was sick while staying at a hotel in Cebu, were all worried about her and that was the most awakening moment of our lives if ever (simbako! What would be our future without her? She is our everything, She’s a special gem stone of our family and the source of light) 

So as of now I’ll be good at my study, Graduate soon and hopefully discover a new world that barriers of dream will become real ❤️
By the way the song I was listening was Clean Bandit x Zara Larsson SYMPHONY

Breakup and Moving On

Hi everyone I know its a bit late but I can’t sleep because its hard to move on. I ended up my 5 year relationship earlier today because its so hard to work and understand each others differences.

Yes he is full of pride and honor to his self but what about other people? He’s not concern with the feelings of others and thats why I always cry and get hurt.

Yes, I’m always insecure to the people around me who had their boyfriends but one thing I’m thankful is that I woke up from a dream that reality hits you really hard I know I am mature and I’m still not used to it someday and sometime I will able to recover and fixed myself first because I ruin everything there comes a point where I doesn’t even know who I am anymore …

Life is full of surprises, You might be happy today and end up broken but once you fix things out you can smile and be happy again finding new love or maybe a choice of being single blessedness. 

There are lots of opportunities ahead of us, DONT GIVE UP THIS IS JUST A BEGINNING OF OUR NEW JOURNEY TOWARDS A BETTER FUTURE ❤️

This is Pauline Cañalita 

ENDING a 5 years relationship!

Happy Mothers Day!

Hello dearest reader Im very sorry been busy at school lately anyways the good thing is that Im baccck for posting this blog again and Im so happy that today marks as a celebration for all the inspiring mothers out there Happy Mothers Day salute to all mothers! ❤️ 

In generalization I want to give honor to the mothers out there for giving life of a child from 9 months of back pains, vomiting, leg cramps and nonstop contractions 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I’ve been working on a delivery room before and Im so happy to witness those precious memories that a mother meets her child. The moment when the child grasp her mother’s hand and when the child wants to be carried by her mom. 

To all the mother’s Ma, Nanay, Madre, Mueter, Morsa, Mamá, Mommy depends on what you call to your mom thank you for giving birth to us, for inspiring us everyday, for loving us unconditionally ….

What are your #HiddenTalents ?

Having an axiety sometimes makes you wonder even more but there’s a solution to that if you’re having anxiety because of being bored and got nothing to do well find a new hobby it relieves stressed and discovering your hidden talents.

My hobby was photography. I love photography so much it eases my pain and suffering I discover it since I was in high school but not as pro as you think I love nature and its always my backdrop or my main masterpiece. I love taking sunset photos because it makes me realized that after a day has passed by new day is coming but before that make sure you’re done of your tasks for that day.

Also I love to cook I discovered it by myself when no one was there to cook for our dinner sometimes you need to widen your thoughts and began experimenting let go of fear because it causes you more anxiety!

How about you? what are your hidden talents? I know that sometimes our anxiety causes us to think different but letting go some of it is our main goal to recover… Lets talk? 

Email: ninajeannepauline@icloud.com

Comment down below 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

Thank you hope I could help you the best I could xx 💋

Need help? Advices?

Im here to help you, I can give advices and tips on how to control your anxiety 😊

Email me if you want some privacy: ninajeannepauline@icloud.com

Or comment down below 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

Parents talk to your child

Are you a parent today? how old your childrens are? are they stubborn which leads you too much stressed?

Because I am in the sea of hate right now my mama is punishing me for 1 week I will be working on our pharmacy and I had given schedules like our maids and I feel like why on earth am I doing this? I spent my life working here on our pharmacy and I was given schedules and oh its says no special treatments.

I lack in communication on my parents I cant even open my problem to them you know why? because they’re so judgemental after I open a problem to them they torture me they hit me like manny pacquiao woaaaah its way to different than a parent who communicate first know what the reason and why did you come up to this? I mean I’ve been to Depression and Anxiety for 2 years after that scenario I trap myself inside my room for 3 days I didn’t eat for 3 days I just want to forget that memory where I was in pain because all my life I was in pain simple slap of a hand into my face traumatized me which makes my depression even worser.

That’s why parents out there make sure to talk to your child, from the day they we’re born till they grow up because you create a bond that other children dont have. Parents also try to listen to your child comfort them and please dont be judgemental because I regret everything why I am like this to my parents I cannot say truth to them, I cant even hug or kiss them I know they loved me but its different when you enjoy your days as a child with your parents because ever since my brother was born I separated myself because you know they love the youngest most and oh they excell most which makes me pressured most because I dont compete myself much Im contented on what I had right now! THE GAP IS WIDER BETWEEN ME AND MY PARENTS i am not stubborn as I describe myself here but in different way there’s part in my life that I lack in guidance more on discipline and more scolding.

I hope childrens out there who experience what I’d experience before please learn from my experience sometimes we want things be done for our own good but think of those person who might be involve be senstive on what if you done a mistake today that you regret it for all the days in your life always obey what your parents say because they know what’s good for you, they know what’s best for you make time to communicate because living in the world with anxiety makes you think of bad things in life and if no one was there for you make time to know God I know we live in a world with many religion try to adopt one because I believe we only worship in one God they maybe different names but in faith it will move us to where we belong.

What triggers you to have an ANXIETY?

My anxiety started when I was young most children dont know it but for me I am different why? because I grew up in pain and feeling unloved when you wanted to do good at school but it needs more effort to reach that goal. I love school when I was young but ever since that first time my papa punished me with a leather belt my life had changed I was traumatized over and over again whenever I see people holding belts it reminds me of my struggles. I was an innocent child before who loves to makes friends and basically play on mud and bath with the rain while singing my favorite song before Somewhere over the rainbow. During my adolescent years things change from the transition of being a child to a teenager and as a woman who had periods every month anxiety becomes more burden because also with the hormones that’s why if you are a guy reading this right now I’m encouraging you to have more patience on yourself because things will fall into place after a woman ends her period 😂 

My experience was as a woman in this world the highest peak of my anxiety are usually my fertile period. I become a person that I never expected to be I scold my boyfriend many times, texted him that I wanted a breakup and telling him that Im tired of working this relationship 😜 After my period I became nice and sweet to him HAHAHA that’s why girls are moody I BLAME THE HORMONES FOR THAT THEY WERE RESPONSIBLE OF MY PMS 😤

If you’re a student #1 stressor of students are always DEADLINE OR QUIZZES because you need to put much effort on it for you to work things out! sometimes you lack in sleep and ENERGY is needed so im advicing you to nap just for an hour calm yourself first you can do this you can be focus when your mind is at peace so stay calm and get some sleep and when you wake up your body is ready to work again! 😉 BEST IF WORK WITH COFFEE I SAY DECAF THE LESSER THE CAFFEINE THE BETTER THE MIND PROGRESS SO YOU CAN SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT ☕️

Others had an anxiety when they became alone and nobody to talk to I USUALLY EXPERIENCED THIS WHEN IM ALONE AT THE DORM. I’M ENCOURAGING YOU TO GO OUT ENJOY YOURSELF I USUALLY WENT TO MALLS TO WINDOW SHOP I LOVE SEEING NEW STUFFS THAT ARE NEW AND ALSO I LOVE MAKE-UP SO I ENJOY SPENDING MY TIME AT THE MALL HUNTING FOR SALE MAKE UP PRODUCTS AND IT REALLY MY STRESSED RELIEVER ….

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Why Me, God? #Depression

I had done many mistakes in my life and I regret those wrong decisions I made. We are only human in this world who learn things from our experience maybe because at the end of this pain and tears there’s a new dawn of hope and happiness.

For the past 2 years in my life I’ve been a bad person, I admit it but I learn from that mistakes and having faith in God gives me hope everyday I dont mind the critisms and heavy stones been thrown at me but in God I find happiness again.

It was April 5, 2016 that I encouter God’s presence on our way to Ozamis City I was depressed at that time because I failed for the 1st time in Maternal & Child Nursing At Risk it was the most devastating scenario of my life that I never wanted to go back so I went to Medina College knocking its doors to open but it seems like their last batch of nursing had graduated and I was so hopeless at that time I cant even imagine myself going to school there  I cried and cried at that day I cannot forgive myself I lost in hope I even think of having suicide by jumping the barge but God doesn’t want me to do that because He has plans on me so I went back to Cagayan de Oro to face my fear and enrolled for Summer 2016.

Still trials never stop I failed on minor subject which my grade was actually 75.8% I questioned that Professor why I failed even if that grade is a passing grade I question again myself whyyyy? I need to struggle much??? I want to end this pain I cant take it anymore 😭

After that summer class I began to realized that I need to be more focus on my studies I need to accept that failure is part of life and that makes you a better person but I had heavy emotions I am sensitive I always cry and crying makes me comfortable to release those emotions.

Then GOD’s plan has started I excell on my 1st Semester I was even a top 1 at our class I always pray and pray and study hard. If failure is part of my life AND GOD NEVER FAILED TO ANSWER MY NEEDS EVERYDAY I know he’s always there watching, guiding and protecting me till now I may sometimes lose in hope but I know someday this failure talking to you will rise up as God bestowed his blessings on me.

I hope you will too, God Bless You Dear Readers 😇

After this pain and bucket of tears I will be successful it may take so long but I know God has plans for me.